One of Jack and my weekly rituals is to go to the Canton Public Library. (Belleville has a library, but its selection is pretty grim.) Besides getting movies and books, it is a good excuse for us to leave the house. We usually go first thing in the morning, when he is likely to take a nap and be quasi-quiet. (Although we did have one morning in which he screeched happily the entire time.)Anyway, in the morning the library patrons are almost all children or babies and their mothers. There are a lot of babies in strollers, like Jack, and other small children following around their mommies. But I have yet to see another Dad. I am sure that some of the occasional other men I see there are fathers, but they never have a child with them. I appear to be one of a kind, at the Canton library at least.
Kate says that this should make me a "chick magnet," but I haven't found this to be true. Other women mostly ignore me when I have Jack out and about. Well, that is not completely true. When I have Jack, I become a Q-Tip magnet. Little old ladies flock to Jack and me. I think that most people are not really sure what to make of a man out and about with his kid during the day.
I knew that as a stay-at-home Dad I would be in the minority and I would be a rarity. I guess I did not realize the degree to which our society still follows the "traditional" roll of the male breadwinner and female homemaker. I am sure that some of these mothers may work evening or night jobs, but I thought I would at least see the occasional father out with his child.
Before Jack, it always bothered me how commercials presented gendered stereotypes so strongly. But after three months or so of really paying attention to who are out running errands during the day with their children, marketing firms are hitting the mark. Part of it also may be that the various media outlets encourage the traditional parental roles. Television shows, movies, and commercials seem to still regularly portray the father as a hapless oaf as soon as he steps into the kitchen or is left at home with the kids for an extended period of time. And the mothers are always the ones ready to make the kid a snack or get out that nasty stain. We are constantly shown the roles into which "normal" people fall. It does not bother me to act the abnormal part, but I can certainly understand how society's expectations could lead men living this "alternative" lifestyle to feel emasculated.
Comments from other parents or the observant are appreciated!
1 comment:
Well, Joe, we will never accuse you of being normal. As for the chick magnet thing, it's probably for the best that you're only appealing to the post-menopausal crowd. I don't think you'll find a better sugar momma in a library on a weekday morning!
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