(I was given the following speech by Jack after watching a cartoon that had a fire safety sequence at the end.)
Okay, Daddy, this is what happens if there is a fire.
First, if you hear a fire alarm then there is a fire. Do we have fire alarms? On the ceiling? Huh.
Now, if I see smoke I am going to pretend I am a puppy and get down on my hands and knees and run away from the fire. (Proceeds to crawl around the floor and bark.)
If my arm catches on fire...um...I am going to roll around on the floor and hope it goes out.
If there is a kitty in my house that is on fire (I think he meant the house on fire, not the cat)...well, I think I might just go hide somewhere.