Sunday, April 02, 2006

Character Introductions

Before I start blogging properly, I should introduce the members of my household.
  • Clara--This is our cat. A.k.a. Kitty, Kee-Kee, and Teenage Crack-whore Kitty. We found her starving and pregnant in a Ohio cornfield at a wedding in 2001. (Most churches in rural Ohio seem to be in cornfields.) Within the first three months, she had $2,000 in vet bills. She has repaid me by joining BMG several times. Of course, that has lead to uncomfortable phone calls when they ask to speak to Ms. Clara Weber.

Homer--This is our Black Lab. A.k.a. Blackpuppy. He will be two-years old this week. We "rescued" him from a lady that fed him Cheetos and was facsinated with his Anal glands. (Don't ask.) At Homer's first vet visit, I was told that he would top out at 85 pounds. The last time I weighed him he was at 115. Why is this a problem? He is under the impression that he weighs twenty pounds.

Frankie--This is our Dachsund Mix. Aka The Weener Dog, Footlong, Carp Dog, and E.T. She is undoubtedly the queen of our household. Yes, Frankie is a she. No, we did not name her. We got her from Kate's parents in 2000, not too long after they got her from a rescue shelter. Her age is unknown, but the rough guess is ten-years old. Everybody that meets her thinks that she is the sweetest dog in the world. What they don't know is that she is conning them into sharing their next meal. Yes, this sweet pudder has an obsessive eating problem. She has been known to eat Homer's entire daily ration of eight cups of food in a blink of the eye. This dog is all intestine.

Oh, and I guess I should introduce Kate. (Kate and I have been married for over five years.) She is a Cardiac ICU Clinial Pharmacy Specialist (or something like that) at St. John's Hospital in Detroit. Currently, she is 34 weeks pregnant and I am not allowed to post pictures of her here until she approves them. So don't hold your breath. And I know, I said more about the animals than her, but you will get to read more about her later.

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